Excerpts from "Pastors Are People Too" Chapter One

Pastor Wayne Atkinson

The Pastor and His Family:

Running, Running, Running. Pastors are no different than ordinary people. And neither are their families.

Life itself is very fast paced in the 21st Century. Just like you, pastors and their families find themselves in the time crunch.  This is especially true when children are being raised in the family.

Everyone is always on the go. Pastors are no different, except in one very notable respect. Not only is the pastors time demanded by the office and family (just like anyone else) but it is always being demanded by the church members who need pastoral attention. The smaller the church, i.e. 200 or less, the pastors time can become very demanding.  And often overwhelming. Over the years in America, people have become accustomed to what is commonly called maintenance churches.  In this mode, the pastor visits the hospital, people in their homes and spends much of his time and effort holding the hands of people. What he really needs is people holding up his hands, assisting in the labor of the Kingdom.

I once heard a story that a new pastor was considering going to a church he had felt God might be sending him to. While in a meeting with the board, he was told that if he planned to come there, he would be well advised to keep a daily log of who he "visited" and when. Needless to say, he no longer felt led to go there! That is just one example of how the time of a pastor can be challenging to manage.

Let me ask a simple question? If the pastor is the C.E.O. of the church, just how is he to juggle time such that he "visits" enough to keep his job, does his job enough that he keeps his job and spends enough time with his family that he does not lose them either. Probably the most common answer is that he does not work, therefore he should have more than enough time for me. This is a very common misconception. It all goes back to that old adage- out of sight is out of mind. Much of a pastors work is done alone and very little of it produces tangible assets which can be easily seen.

I have come to admire men who have made a stand with their congregations and church boards that their time off is just that. Theirs! More and more, pastors are understanding the need to set aside time for themselves, and their families, allowing nothing to interfere with it. It is a growing trend and I for one embrace it as essential for the family unit.  After all, most people reading this take two days off a week and spend them exactly how they want to.

One exciting trend  helping pastoral families is the move to drop Sunday night services. Like most good religious people, I strongly opposed this trend at first. But I finally realized that if the people were not going to attend, then it is best to focus that energy into something productive. In many churches, additional services have been added in the morning and the net result is not less services, but more attended services. The byproduct of course is that the pastoral family has more quality time to spend together. A Sunday afternoon or evening together may not seem like much to some but it gives them time to a "Family" on Sunday and not just pastors. The rewards can be simply astounding.

In a day when the tenure of the average pastor is down to 5 years, it is important to realize the toll that this 24 hour a day job can take on families. One Pastor told me during my ordination service, that his only regret after all those years of ministry is how much time he lost with his family, all to often putting the church and its needs ahead of them. If you have a good pastor at your church. Help him to be great. Insist that he and his family take time off for themselves.